Listen To Your Heart and Not To What Others Say

Listen To Your Heart
This photo was taken in Mallorca - Spain. You can find the original on my other website www.DARKOSPHOTOS.com

People suffer cause they listen more to others than to their own hearts.

The easiest way to end up unhappy and depressed is by listening to others rather than yourself.

Believe me, I've been there. Most of my life I lived accordingly to other peoples plans. To be honest it was also a lot easier than sitting down and thinking for myself what I want from life, where I want to go and who I want to become.

However, by doing so it sent me down a path that wasn't meant for me. What happened after years was a reckoning in the form of a mental breakdown, pushing me to point were I not even could stand on my own feet. I've become weak, mentally and physically. I remember laying on the floor in my apartment, drowning in tears and in my own sorrow and playing with suicidal thoughts.

 

A couple of years before that, one of my best friends tried to kill himself. He survived but died that one year later because of a genetical defect. He was only 23 and his death took a toll on me.

One thing that I learned from his suicide attempt was, that it fucks with the people around you way more than you know. Thanks to his suffering I understood that suicide would be a solution which would fuck up my family and friends more than it would help me.

 

Later that evening, still crying and still not able to stand I crawled on the ground and dragged myself to the mirror.

I had to see what I've become. I had to know how my weakest self looked like. Fucked, to put in nice words, I just say it looked beyond pathetic. I asked myself why did it happen to me and how?!

 

I didn't understand and decided for the first time in my life to seek help...damn I'm so glad I did it.

After talking to a good friend and many therapy sessions and a lot of internal work which felt like turning stones over, each representing insecurity and fear. I finally understood, that the reason I went into that dark space was, that I didn't take the full responsibility for my life into my own hands and left it in other peoples hands.

 

That was 5 years ago...it took me a lot of energy and suffering to become who I am today, but boy it was totally worth.

The thing is, it's not easy to live your life according to your own beliefs and the way you want it. You're going to hit a lot of walls and you're going to meet a lot of resistance; externally and especially internally. However, it's the only way you'll achieve true fulfilment. I'm so not special, but if I could do it, then you can do it too.

 

Believe in yourself, love yourself, even when no one else does it. You can do it and that's the truth.

You really can.

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