Tell The Truth and Let Go of The Outcome

Tell the truth and let go of the outcome. Cause whatever happens is the best the could've happened.

One might ask, but how can be letting go of the control for the outcome be a good thing? Actually, I don't know if it's going to be a good thing in the short term, but definitely in the long run.

 

I'll share with you an example from my love life, which changed everything.

There was once a woman in my life who came so unexpected like no one ever before her. Before I met her I thought I was pretty smart, but that meeting and friendship that came with her changed that assumption. I was sure that she was just a friend, but I developed feelings for her without even noticing it, or maybe I did notice and I just didn't want to admit it. Who knows, what went through my mind at that time.

Proportionally to my feelings, my insecurities started to grow till they were triggered and made me behaved a little bit "dickisch" towards her. My options were either standing my ground or admitting that I behaved stupidly because of me feeling insecure.

 

For some people, it might be common sense what to do, but for me, it wasn't.

I was really afraid talking about my weaknesses, cause in the past they got used against me and obviously I didn't want it to happen again. One of my hardwired insecurities was getting used and manipulated, which happened more often then I like to admit. Maybe it happened because of stupidity, naivete or desperation for validation and a wish for connecting to others; probably all together. Now add to the fear of getting manipulated, sharing it in the first place cause it could get used against you. Not a nice thought, right? So it turned out that because of that I developed the insecurity to talk about my insecurities; how ironic.

Nevertheless, I knew I had to talk with her about them otherwise she would've probably run away and that was more frightening then to talk about them and making my self vulnerable. Doesn't mean it made it any easier, oh, on the contrary, I felt fucking anxious.

So I did the hard thing before we went to bed and told her what's inside of me. Mysteriously, I felt really calm that night and a thought enter my head that changed everything. No matter how she's going to behave or decide the next day on what to do. I was truthful. I didn't tell her what I thought that she wanted to hear to make things great again. Which would've been the outcome that I desired, just making thing great and alright again.

No, I had to let go of the control of the outcome and tell her what was really going on inside of me and what I was afraid of. Even if it wasn't the best thing to say to save the situation. I had to take the risk of losing her, otherwise, this connection would've been built upon lies and that something that none of us would've desired. Now after telling the truth, two things could've happened. Either she would stay or she would run away.

If she stayed, it would mean that she accepted my weaknesses and be one step closer to becoming the right one. However, if she ran away it would've meant that she wouldn't accept them and therefore she could not be the right one

 

So whatever happenes would've been the best that could've happened.

 

She stayed...and we build a better connection on top of that little squirrel that we had. Since then telling the truth became more natural, still not easy, but definitely easier.

Tell the truth and let go of the outcome. Cause whatever happens is the best the could've happened.

 

PS: I told you that my insecurities made me behave like a dick. It's not true, being a dick is a choice, no one makes you behave a certain way, it's as mentioned your choice. So if you behave like one, then you are one.

 

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